ch-cha-changes

it has been said that change is healthy and good for growth, but lately our lives have been full of constant changes and chaos, perhaps a tad too much. daily k-oss was titled as is, because if i had to sum up my life with one word it would probably be "chaotic". in all that we do, take on and desire to do, it just gets a little much at times. i have taken time today to blog about the current and continuing chaos in my life.

i am throwing the caution flag on this blog, because it may just be a bit of downer to read. , nevertheless, i find it hard to believe that most of you couldn't relate on some level.

the last few weeks have been filled with major decisions, packing, cleaning, painting, re-decorating, parenting, job searching and financing. all of which are challenging within themselves. coupled with all of this, i have been in a constant debate with myself of what to do about next year in terms of my job and adding another little duckling to the ruiz family.

i used to think i was a very qualified individual with many great things to offer, but after the last two interveiw disappointments, i have since turned a different cheek. i am not sure why or how, but i definitely think there is a higher calling for me. i can't imagine what it might be, but it is definitely out there whispering my name. i still think it is within teaching.

i keep wondering what direction God is leading me. i do have faith, but after a long day of wondering and worrying my head gets the best of me and i end up right back where i started, with the whole "what if" game. sometimes you might find me in a corner with my arms folded with a look on my face that reads "it's not fair!".

i feel as though i am up to bat at the world series where each pitch is the determining factor in my life, but i can't seem to hit the ball b/c the ball is pitched ever so strategically, so that i automatically strike out. c'mon, i had to work the sports analogy in there somehow!

the burning question is why. why so many opportunities knocking, but none panning out? when i have time to think about it logically the answer may very well be right in front of me. if it were a snake it may have bit me. but then again, it could all be much deeper than what meets the surface and down the road i may look back on this chaotic time in my life and suddenly know the answers to the whys.

don't get me wrong, i am all about changes and growth, but i think i need the both of them to slow their motors for a bit so i can re-adjust, gain some confidence and settle into my life again. i need to face my challenges with a level head and move forward with class. sorta like getting the mud off my tires while taking a much needed sunday drive.

if, this should happen anytime soon, i can see it now...the blog will be re-named and i will be writing about what i cooked for dinner again instead of which box to unpack and which career choice i have chosen.

how glorious would that be?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my niece Cassie! We miss and love you!

so today was one of those days...

did you ever have one of those days when you just couldn't seem to get anything you planned to do accomplished? today was one of those days for sure. several little hiccups along the way and a ton of things to do before moving day on saturday. and not one of them accomplished today-- grrr!

i did manage to fit in my long awaited hair appointment. i got the ole lockes trimmed up quite a bit, about 5 inches. i also lightened up the highlights to give it that fresh, bright look of summer. now, if only i can style it like my stylist then i am golden.

it was way overdue for a good trim, plus everyday was like groundhog day around here, ponytail after ponytail. maybe i will take a quick pic and post when i can find time to do a photo shoot -ha!

Miss Allyson

Two years ago today you were born on this very day. You have and continue to touch our lives in ways I never knew were possible.

With each day, you grow and are exploring your world like a true toddler would.

I cannot count the times I just stop to stare at how beautiful you are and how grateful I am for you in my life.

Happy 2nd Birthday Angel Pie.

living out of boxes

oh, the joy of moving. oh, the chaos involved!

can i just say that i need not move again for at least 10 years.

this moving stuff is for the birds! calgon take me away!

two years ago today...

i was sitting around insanely pregnant wondering why doctors give due dates.

espcially ones that you don't deliver on.

i can remember doing all the home remedies in an attempt to spark labor, but obviously none of it worked for me because allyson was born 4 days after my due date.

as i was watching ally play today, i got to thinking about the "waiting period" of delivery and wondered how the heck i am going go through that whole dramatic event again...then, it dawned on me that i may not mind the wait. aside from the beautiful baby coming home and meeting her mommy, daddy and sibling, i am not looking forward to an aching and flabby body parts, sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, bottles, teething and baby food again. i would much rather fast forward to age 2 when i can watch them play independently, communication is developing and they can walk own their own.

i guess this was just a day of me contemplating pregnancy again. futuristically speaking, there should be an easier way hasn't some computer genius wrote a program yet?

it's my party and i'll cry if i want to...

this is what happens after a long day of partying with no nap.



aside from the small meltdown later on in the evening, ally did have a blast celebrating her birthday with family and friends in luau fashion. thanks to everyone who helped us celebrate both ally's and my mom's birthdays. it was a blast!

Happy Birthday Mom!

"60" is just a number, to us you are still young and beautiful!
We love you.